Excuse the title of this post but whilst writing it all I could hear was Dolly Parton's "Nine to Five" in my head...
As some of you may know I have returned to work, I couldn't believe how quickly the time came for Luke and I to swap roles! I returned after having nine months off and Luke became a stay at home dad. Going back brought with it a mixture of emotions; guilt to be leaving Audrey, excitement to be seeing the great group of people I work with (well most of them), sadness that my time as a stay at home mum was over, and most of all confusion. For years my role was easily defined by a position description and business card but then came a new role for me, I became Mumma! I couldn't quite figure out how I was going to be both Elesha the career girl and Mumma. I felt I had become a completely different person at home to work and wasn't sure how to merge the two. As a worker I was goal driven, hard and often hot headed. As Mumma I am a complete softy, I enjoy craft and mess and the only goal I set for myself most days is to get out of my pj's by 10am...
It took me a little while but I soon realised I had nothing to worry about, I could be both Elesha and Mumma and better yet my softness from mumma-hood rubbed off on my attitude at work and some of my organisation worked its way into our home life. I settled into work doing the basic teller duties three days a week, I enjoyed having some "Elesha" time and my mind felt like it was starting to come out of its 9 month hibernation. Then a few weeks in, an opportunity presented itself. My regional manager called to see if I would be interested in a role in our lending department. It is a role I have always enjoyed and found interesting but could I really take on the added responsibility and the additional day? Could I leave Audrey in the care of someone else for another day? Would I remember how to do the job considering I hadn't been in the role for over a year? So many questions floated around my head but I knew the real reason I was feeling uneasy... I actually really wanted the job but I felt guilty, shouldn't I want to be at work less not more?? After talking with Luke I soon realised there is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve at work, I could still have a career and be a great Mumma. I accepted the job and i am happy to report after my first week in my new role I am a little tired (that extra day was a killer) but feel great about my decision.
Love, Elle.
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